


Outside Joke

by Radioactivehelena



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Autistic Morality | Patton Sanders, Bullying, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Good Friend, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 21:43:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20071051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Radioactivehelena/pseuds/Radioactivehelena
Summary: Chad whispered something to the crew around him, who all nodded furiously and grabbed their own table, a measly ten feet away from Patton’s. They had pulled out their phones, chuckling, and watching with rapt attention as Chad finally approached his date.“So, you actually showed up?” Chad asked, not bothering to sit down. When standing, he had a good two inches on Patton, but from here he seemed to tower over the smaller boy.“Of course I did,” Patton beamed in response, all but yelling.Or; Patton gets asked out on a fake date, and it takes him a while to realize that he is being made fun of.





	Outside Joke

**Author's Note:**

> Decided to try something different. Please heed the warnings listed.
> 
> Thank you to Princelogical and Rainbow-Sides on tumblr for the help! <3

Patton squirmed in his seat, looking out the busy cafè window as he waited anxiously for his date to arrive. Clumsy fingers ran back and forth over the fuzzy cat pendant that hung around his neck as he sat and watched the horde of strangers stroll up and down the city sidewalk. The teenager had been sitting there for nearly forty-five minutes, eagerly awaiting his date, who had cornered him after Economics and invited Patton to the local coffee shop. When the marketing major - a built looking man who played on the lacrosse team - stauntered in the doorway, Patton felt his stomach do summersaults. 

Chad looked as handsome as he always did, as he pushed through the lazy afternoon crowds that had conjugated in the cafè. Patton beamed, enthusiastically waving his hands to try and get his date’s attention, barely holding himself back from bouncing in his seat. 

A small group of Chad’s friends had - much to Patton’s surprise - come along. They were giggling behind their hands as they pointed out the smaller teenager to their pal. The lacrosse players eyes crinkled and a wide smile split his lips as he noticed Patton. 

The moment Chad had spotted him, Patton was singing under his breath, swaying in his seat as he waited for the marketing major to take his seat. When Patton got excited he often found himself humming little tunes, and today was no exception. The teenager’s palms may have been sweaty with nerves, and his heart may have been beating at an unhealthy pace, but he was  _ excited.  _ And his excitement often overruled any of his rational thinking.

Chad whispered something to the crew around him, who all nodded furiously and grabbed their own table, a measly ten feet away from Patton’s. They had pulled out their phones, chuckling, and watching with rapt attention as Chad finally approached his date. 

“So, you actually showed up?” Chad asked, not bothering to sit down. When standing, he had a good two inches on Patton, but from here he seemed to tower over the smaller boy. 

“Of course I did,” Patton beamed in response, all but yelling. “I wouldn’t miss this for the world! I mean, you-you asked me on a date! How could I turn that down?! I’ve never really been on a date before and you’re so-so-so I mean, you’re you so-”

“Yeah I get it,” Chad turned to look over his shoulder, throwing a condescending glance towards the other side of the cafè, smirking at his friends. Only then did he sit down, eyes so dark Patton had to look away to catch his breath. “And so does the whole damn restaurant now, apparently.” 

Patton cocked his head to the side, like a confused puppy. “It’s not like you just screamed loud enough for the people on the street to hear.” The smaller teen found his hands subconsciously reaching for his necklace as Chad explained, the heavy feeling of guilt weighing down his gut. 

“I’m sorry,” Patton muttered, casting his eyes down and away from the intense stare of his date. “I guess I just get a little carried away sometimes.” Patton knew _sometimes_ was an understatement. _Sometimes_ he preferred chocolate to vanilla. _Sometimes_ he forgot to call his mom before bed. But it always seemed like his volume was just a touch _too_ high, his voice desperately trying to compensate for the _too_ _many_ noises and _too_ _many_ thoughts threatening to suffocate him. 

The younger boy fiddled with his pendant, suddenly feeling uncomfortably nauseous, as the waiter came to take their orders. 

“I’ll have the french toast with a coke please,” Chad said readildly, not even bothering to look at the menu. “And so will he.” Patton squirmed, pretending that was wasn’t looking forward to a grilled cheese sandwich and watched as the waiter raised an eyebrow, carefully giving the smaller boy a once over.

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes!” Patton replied. He was too quick, too loud. He saw Chad flinch, and scrunch up his nose in annoyance. Patton had disappointed his date  _ again _ . He wouldn’t be surprised if Chad never wanted to see him again. 

The waiter nodded, tucking his pen back into his red apron. “Well, let me know if you need anything else.” 

“Will do!” Patton smiled, waving as the man walked away. 

The second the waiter had turned the corner, Chad was back to grilling him again, leaning a touch too close into Patton’s space. “You know, I’ve always wondered why you have those stuffed animals on your backpack.”

“Oh those silly things?” Patton muttered. A warm blush dusted across his cheeks. Clipped to his pale blue napsack were numerous little keychains in the cat, dog and cartoon variety. “I just like them!”

Once upon a time, back in highschool, Patton used to hide his ‘weird’ stuffed animal keychain. Kids use to like to cut them off his backpack, and give them back to him with their limbs unattached or heads missing. In college, he had tried to bury the stuffies deep beneath his school books. But they had gotten squished or ruined, and after yogurt had once spilled all over his favorite Winnie the Pooh keychain, he stopped trying to keep it a secret “Oh! Oh! They all have names too! This one is Pidge! I named them that because they’re-”

“My younger sister doesn’t even carry those things around with her anymore.” Chad raised an eyebrow, his brown eyes hungry, his smile predatory. “She stopped when she was like, ten.” 

“But  _ I _ like them! See this one is named Peter. You know, like Spider-Man! And this one, my mom got for me after the-”

Chad laughed, a harsh bark of a thing that resounded throughout the cafè and caused Patton to flinch back, effectively cutting him off. “ _ Your mommy got that for you? _ ” The words stung, but Patton just forcibly shrugged them off, smiling back in response. 

“Yeah! She w-w-wo-works so hard and cares so much, she’s like, my-my best friend!” 

“God you’re such a  _ child _ . You’re a freak Patton, a freak.”

“Here ya go,” the waiter muttered, passing out the soda’s with such impeccable timing Patton almost mistook him for a timelord. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” Patton swallowed past the lump in his throat, forcing a bright smile onto his lips. He wanted Chad to stop teasing him, he wanted an excuse to leave, he wanted to go home, turn on parks and rec, and pretend this whole thing had never happened. But this stranger could give him none of that. 

“I’m a-ah-okay-thank you.” Worried brown eyes meet Patton’s as the waiters eyebrows pulled together nervously, tension causing the strangers face to wrinkle with concern. The younger boy quickly looked away from those intrusive eyes, and kept his gaze down. 

“Well, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask!” Patton couldn’t explain why he suddenly felt so trapped once the waiter had walked away. 

“So,” Chad started, dark eyes glinting suspiciously. “You like cartoons right?” 

However, all of Patton’s worry seemed to melt with that simple question. “Pffft I don’t  _ like _ cartoons,” he started, biting his lip as he tried hard not to laugh at his own joke, vibrating with energy. “I love them! Oh-oh-oh! I just started watching this new one, it’s uh-um about a little girl and the crazy adventures she goes on!” 

As Patton contained to rant about magical elves and giant trees, he didn’t notice Chad take out his phone and set it on the table. Patton’s hands were flying wildly, a wide, beaming smile painting his lips as he talked to a boy who wasn’t even listening. The camera clicked on, Chad’s friends were laughing, and whispering to each other, but Patton still didn’t notice. 

At least, he didn’t until Chad cleared his throat, the last boughs of laughs shaking his gut as he stood up. “I gotta piss,” he muttered, only, instead of heading to the bathroom, he and his friends walked straight out the front door. 

It happened so fast, Patton barely had time to process it. One minute, he was on a date, and the next, he wasn’t. 

Patton couldn’t breathe. His chest felt like it was caving in on his heart, shock and confusion burying him whole. The air had been knocked out of him, leaving him with paralyzing horror for a brief second. 

Then all at once he the air came rushing back into his lungs as he struggled to regain his breath again, choking on the lump in his throat and gagging on the rock in his stomach. Trying to hold back his sobs became physically painful as he threw a hand over his mouth and dug his nails into his skin, feeling a stinging pain around his cheek. 

His body acted on instinct, legs and feet tangling together as Patton desperately ran to the family bathroom, searching for a place to hide. Fourtantently, it was vacant. He wasn’t looking forward to having another breakdown in public. The last thing Patton needed right now was the eyes of strangers judging him as he panicked. 

Once he was sure the door was locked behind him, Patton let loose the whimpers that he had desperately been trying to hold in. Back against the door, he sunk to the filthy bathroom tile, a steady stream of tears making their way down his cheeks. 

He had been  _ so stupid _ . He should have known it was a joke from the moment Chad had asked him out. But instead, he had been oblivious to the taunts from Chad’s friends and the jokes made about him on social media. No, Patton had gotten his hopes up, only for them to come crumbling down faster than an avalanche. 

His chest ached. It was the dull kinda pain, that only got stronger and stronger as each sob forcibly made its way out of his throat. He wanted to go home. He wanted to go home _ so badly _ , and not just to his dorm, but to his mom. Patton pulled his knees to his chest, wailing as loudly as he dared. Chad was right. He really was a  _ freak _ , a child who would be dependent on their mother for the rest of their life. 

There was a sudden knock on the door. Pattons head snapped up, eyes wide, cheeks streaked with tears. “S-s-someone’s in here!” He squeaked. 

“I know,” came the reply. 

“O-oh,” Patton sniffled, scrubbing his cheeks furiously. He was almost too sad to be confused. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Patton muttered, choking on a sob. 

There was a pregnant beat of silence, and Patton stood up with a heavy sigh. He hoped the stranger had walked away. 

“No you aren’t.” 

“W-w-w-what?” Patton blundered, so caught off guard and blinded by fear that he forgot to be upset for a moment. Standing in the open doorway, blocking Patton from the view of other customers, was the waiter. 

His perfectly manicured eyebrows furrowed with concern, and his pale lips quirked downwards in a frown. “Is it alright if I come in?” Patton swallowed thickly, nodding his head ever so slightly. 

“You already did.” 

The stranger smiled sadly, huffing a laugh from his nose. “I meant-” he cut himself off, frustratedly running a hand through his dark hair. 

“Do you want to talk?” 

Patton thought about it for a second, blinking rapidly. He willed his tears to stop, but his emotions had a mind of their own and the water works continued. Patton swallowed thickly, grabbing his necklace and finding comfort in the familiar feeling of soft, fuzzy cotton. 

“I like your key chains,” the stranger tried again. “Especially the dachshund one. A wiener dog in a hotdog bun is  _ definitely _ my kinda humor, am I right?” Patton hummed, looking at his bag. It had been thrown to the floor in his haste to escape any prying eyes, and now lay in a crumpled heap. Patton felt bad. His stuffed animals didn’t deserve that just because he was a little upset. 

“Look, I saw what that guy did to you,” the stranger said. Patton’s cheeks burned with shame, his eyes watering in frustration. “And it wasn’t cool. It made me _so_ _mad_. So I thought, just, maybe I could help? We could talk if you wanted, in the break room. Or even here, if you’d prefer?” 

Patton blinked, his breath stuttering as the kind words from the man across from him slowly sank in. He knew that he could hide, pretend that everything was fine when in fact he felt worse than that one time he had the flu, but still had to take care of himself because his mom couldn’t get the day off. However, the lie died in his throat, getting stuck on the way out and he had to choke down his sobs in order to continue. 

“D-don't you…” He started, gesturing and fumbling helplessly as his words escaped him. However, the stranger seemed to understand. 

“I took my break early. Don’t worry, the manger on this shift is pretty chill. And one of my co-workers is taking my tables. It also helps that he’s my roommate. So, how do you feel about a heart to heart?” 

“I, yeah, I would,” he muttered shyly, clearing his throat to let his words past his lips. “I would like to talk please. In that break room maybe?” The waiter nodded, waiting patiently as Patton splashed cool water on his face and collected his bag from the floor. 

“Ready?” 

The two of them made their way past the open bar, past the kitchen, and into the break room. It wasn’t as cozy as the cafe, but there were still plush looking chairs and a couch that the stranger lead Patton towards. The walls were painted a pale shade of comforting purple and cushy throw pillows decorated every chair. Patton immediately melted into the couch, hugging his bag to his chest and running his fingers back and forth over the stuffed animal his mom has gotten him. 

“Would you like some water? Hot cocoa?” The waiter asked, heading towards the mini fridge. 

“Uh, yes please. Hot cocoa please.” The man set up the keurig and sat across from Patton, smiling nervously at him. 

“So, your date was kinda a dick huh?” Patton laughed, fresh tears pouring down his cheeks as he pulled his feet up on the cushions. “He’s in my creative writing class. He’s never been all that creative or that great of a writer to tell you the truth.” 

“Wait, you go to Williams School of the Arts?” Patton asked, eyes wide, cries momentarily silenced with shock. 

“Yeah why?”

“So-so-so do I!” 

“How come I’ve never seen you around?!”

“I’m-I’m a freshman.” Patton squeaked 

“Well it’s nice to meet you-” the stranger froze, furrowing his brows in concentration. “Sorry, I actually don’t think I got your name.”

“Patton! I’m Patton Hart!” The younger man smiled, despite his red and blotchy cheeks. 

“It’s nice to meet you Patton Hart! I’m Roman Prince!”

**Author's Note:**

> We love basic last name!!
> 
> Anyways I hope you enjoyed! This took me a lot longer to write and get out then it should have. I also know I should be working on Human, but writers block has been kicking my butt recently. 
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated!


End file.
